Monday, December 04, 2006

It's Been A While!

Yes, it certainly has been a while since I've posted. Part of the reason is I've been busy, maintaining several blogs is not easy. Then there's the fact that I haven't been traveling as much. But I do have a doozy today.

I flew to Virginia from Baltimore this past weekend to see family. It was a well needed trip. As much as I hate Virginia, I still have to travel there. As you may recall, the last week was a weather nightmare throughout the midwest and parts of the Northeast. So my flight was delayed and it seemed like the perfect time to write about my observations as I sat in the terminal.

You can see some really interesting things when sitting in an airport terminal. Like the old white guy who all he seems to do is pace the terminal. Or the cuties walking through the terminal trying to act like they're not cute, and they know they are! Or the obvious drag queen (or for those who don't understand - transvestite) wearing a wig and a tight brown business suit, with 3 inch heels, talking so damn loudly on his/her cell phone. Oh thank God they don’t allow you to use cellphones inflight! (And it seems “he/she” is traveling with obviously gay white boy who daintily crosses his legs when he sits down. I actually wondered about that, since there were several seats available, yet he sat directly next to her.)

There was also the poor porter (is that what they’re called?) laboring, I mean really laboring behind the wheelchair bearing the 600 pound woman with the church hat. Thank God she’s not on my flight! I'd hate to think of how the plane would be able to take off with her on it. And, yes, I went there.

And why is that dude with the green pullover always staring at me? I can’t tell if he’s checking me out or just rude. I know he’s staring at me because every time I pretend to be looking in that general direction, our eyes meet. Very uncomfortable feeling.

It’s 7:50 and the gate attendant is now reporting that the flight is delayed another 15 minutes, now departing at 8:30, instead of 8:00. The only problem with that is the fact that now if you’re going to the bathroom you have to take your luggage with you. Gone are the days when you can stick them in a locker. At least green pullover guy had left. He was really creeping me out. And drag queen and white boy left too.

The plane finally arrived around 8:10 and unloaded pretty quickly. They loaded up, and the gay white boy sat in the opposite row, in the middle seat. Just as I was putting in my earphones for my iPod, in comes the drag queen. I hoped and prayed but I was not spared. She sat right beside me!

I don't know to what I owed that honor but, I was so uncomfortable. For one thing, it was obvious it was a guy, and not a very attractive guy either. See, I firmly believe that drag queens should at least be pretty, so you can't tell that they are. At least I figured that's the idea of being a transvestite. I don't think anyone would want to be an ugly drag queen.

Once we were airborne, the drag queen proceeded to turn her phone back on, and kept checking every 5 minutes for a signal. I don't know what sort of emergency he/she had, but I'm glad there was no signal. I'd hate to have been stuck listening to him/her yapping.

Fortunately the flight wasn't very long. The moment we landed and he/she got a signal, she started. The more he/she talked, the louder it got. The louder it got, the more the voice became less feminine and more masculine. In fact, by the time we disembarked, it was quite clear it was a very ugly guy in a dress with a nice wig. Wow. I've never experienced anything like that, and I hope I will never experience that again!

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